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How to Resolve Conflict with Others
Getting others to work with you, not against you
The Self-as-Mediator Seminar
A core workplace competency.
"Every conflict is started by two people."
Overview:
A flexible and impactful one-day learning module, The Self-as-Mediator Seminar is the most cost-effective way to empower your employees to handle the challenges of today's intensely interdependent workplace. They will learn how to use a simple yet powerful communication tool — "Self Mediation" — to manage the differences that impair teamwork, quality, decision-making, and cooperation throughout your organization.
But more than just a training seminar, this practical program contains resources for changing organizational culture, surgically altering the norms that so often cause obstructive behavior and replacing them with constructive, positive behaviors.
The Self-as-Mediator Seminar puts the tools of the professional mediator in the hands of every employee to build better workplace relationships. It is an essential component of every successful organization’s HRD and OD strategic effort.
Learning objectives:
Following the training, the learner will be able to:
- Assess workplace conflicts to determine whether Self Mediation is appropriate based on:
A. Level of seriousness of the conflict
B. Degree of interdependence between oneself and the co-worker
C. Balance of power, and risk of power abuse
D. Characteristics of the coworker that would contraindicate Self Mediation
- Identify the two reflexive behaviors, in a case study or an actual conflict, that obstruct joint problem-solving, and to describe how to eliminate those behaviors.
- Identify the five elements of the retaliatory cycle, in a case study or an actual conflict, and to describe how to interrupt the cycle to make joint problem-solving dialogue possible.
- Initiate dialogue with a coworker to solve a workplace conflict.
- State the issue in conflict in terms that promote cooperation and minimize defensiveness.
- Persuade a reluctant coworker to participate in dialogue to solve a workplace conflict.
- Describe the necessary features of context (time-and-place environment) that will prevent failure of dialogue.
- Use techniques for beginning a scheduled dialogue with a co-worker that focuses attention on the issue to be solved and removes obstacles to successful conclusion.
- Perform the two essential tasks during a scheduled dialogue that are necessary to produce a shift in attitude from me-against-you to us-against-the-problem.
- Recognize and identify conciliatory gestures that naturally occur during arguments, and to seize the opportunity they present to solve the conflict.
- Recognize and identify the four psychological forces that produce consensus, and to describe them in a case study or an actual conflict.
- Form agreements that meet the three criteria that prevent recurrence of conflict.
Performance Goals:
As a result of employees’ achievement of these learning objectives,
- The financial cost of conflict will decline by 50%.
- The frequency of conflicts in the host organization will decline by 50%.
- Conflicts that do occur will be satisfactorily resolved 80% of the time without involvement by the supervisor or manager.
- Employee satisfaction with the workplace will increase by 30%
Topic Outline:
- Measuring the dollar cost of conflict in your organization
- The two communication "bad habits" of all people in all cultures — how to avoid them
- The 4-step "Self Mediation" tool — and how to apply it
STEP 1: Find a time to talk
Why 95% of communication problems stay unsolved — and how to reverse this ratio
STEP 2: Plan the context
The nuts-and-bolts about where-and-when to talk
STEP 3: Talk it out
Two simple verbal tools for getting from "me-against-you" to "us-against-the-problem"
STEP 4: Make a deal
The three obvious (but usually ignored) criteria for making agreements that work
- The surprising reason why this simple 4-step method is so successful
- Putting Self Mediation to work in your specific job
Seminar Modules:
The topics above are covered in two modules, allowing flexibility in scheduling and meeting client learning needs. Each module contains approximately four hours of instruction. Click each Module to view detailed seminar content.
- Module 1: Necessary Knowledge
Preparing to take effective action
- Module 2: Successful Conflict Conversations
Self-mediation, a core workplace competency
Who Should Attend?
The Self-as-Mediator Seminar is designed for any employee who works interdependently with others — bosses, subordinates, and peers. No particular educational background is required. It is especially valuable for self-managing teams.
Benefits:
- Take control of conflicts, rather than be controlled by them
- Negotiate solutions to conflicts, rather than fight
- Mediate conflicts between staff who are locked in personality clashes and petty bickering
- Reduce job stress and tension that may be affecting health
- Handle "difficult people" (and avoid being seen as a "difficult person" by others)
- Save the thousands of "invisible dollars" now being lost by impaired production and missed opportunities
- Remove a key obstacle to success of TQM and Self-Directed Work Team efforts
- Change organizational culture to make healthy communication the norm, rather than commonplace dysfunctional "crazy-making" behavior
Custom Applications:
"The Self-as-Mediator Seminar" is the trade title of this highly flexible, customizable training module. Typically, more descriptive titles are given to in-house and sponsored presentations of the seminars. Some examples are:
- Managing Conflict on Teams
- Improving Cross-team Communication in Concurrent Engineering Projects
- A Communication Tool for Prevention of Workplace Violence
- New Employee Orientation: The Way We Manage Our Differences
- Managing the Human Consequences of Downsizing
- A Practical Workplace Diversity Program: More than Awareness Training
- Managing Stress by Managing Conflict
- . . . and many others
 Seminar Materials:
Every seminar participant receives:
- The primary source book: Managing Differences:
How to Build Better Relationships at Work and Home (third edition) by Dr.Daniel Dana.
- Workbook: A multi-volume step-by-step individualized guide for using new skills on the job
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